learning to be

listening to the signs and signals around me
is so much harder to do
than it is to ignore them.

it is time, they say.
but what if I don’t want it to be time?
I know in my heart of hearts that it rests before me,
one step from the precipice that will allow me to be
f r e e
allow me to start healing –

you are hurting yourself, they say.
well, what if I like the pain?
learning to speak is a struggle,
sharing my heart and hurt is scary
but I am learning to be brave,
acknowledging that I am, perhaps,
that I am, perhaps, broken,
but not discarded.

it is okay to strain,
if you remember to grab the hand that reaches out.
it is so hard to remember that, sometimes.
but I think I’m doing it.

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