i taught myself to speak in arbor
so i could ask, this morning, the trees
if they could be my siblings.
i explained that i was lonely,
all the memories - only that.
i did not want resurrection
only some consolation that
i could be
someone's sister.

it is hard to tear the words 
from my ears
that hurt so much,
from someone i had wanted
to believe in
so much.
it is hard to rend the thoughts
from my head of traveling
and bonding.
it simply is pain.

eager am i to let it go,
i am willing to become 
a part of the roots, nourish
the growth that i wanted to see -
that, at least,
i could experience.