“Being part of the world puts a new perspective on things, doesn’t it?”
– Garrus Vakarian
❯❯❯❯❯
SSV Normandy SR-2: Bridge
The Normandy shuddered horribly as Joker punched her engines into overdrive, trying desperately to outrun the blast radius from the Citadel behind them. To his right, Tali’Zorah gripped the seat of her copilot chair, monitoring the ship’s screaming vitals as the visible shockwave gained ground on their tail.
“Joker…”
“Nearly there,” he said, jaw clenched tight.
Diving beneath a field of debris, the Normandy shot deep into the black of space as the wave hit the dead relay. The pair watched on their video feed as the relay ruptured, sending pieces careening into the ether. Joker slowed them down to drift before releasing his hold on the throttle. Leaning back heavily in his seat, he yanked his Alliance cap off, threw it on the ground, then pounded the arm of his chair, pinched the bridge of his nose, and began to sob.
Tali removed herself from the chair and went to his side, wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly as Joker wept into his hands.
“Tali, they’re gone, Shepard, she’s… they’re gone, oh god,” he managed to choke out, desperate anger in his words.
Tali’s visor fogged up as she tried to take deep, steadying breaths, but Joker’s words slashed through her suit to her quick, and she found she was also shaking.
Pounding footsteps rapidly approached the bridge, and Tali turned to see Garrus and Kaidan running full-tilt towards them. The biotic dropped to his knees beside Joker to comfort his friend, while Garrus pulled Tali into a tight hug. The ship felt as if it were spinning beneath her feet, and she was grateful for the turian’s tall, steadying presence.
Garrus walked her backwards so she could lean on a console, glancing out the windshield as debris cartwheeled by them.
“Are you two okay?” Kaidan asked, a hand on Joker’s shoulder.
The pilot didn’t respond, but Tali nodded slowly as more footsteps ran towards them. The figures of Liara and Ashley appeared, both looking drawn and pale. Glyph was nowhere to be found as Ashley knelt down beside Kaidan and Joker. Liara hovered to the left of Garrus and Tali.
“We survived,” Ashley murmured bitterly.
No one replied.
Garrus couldn’t feel anything: not his wounds from the battle in London, not the cold steel of the ship, not Tali clutching his forearm as if drowning. A single memory was looping before his eyes, over and over again: the Commander stumbling towards the Crucible, rifle in one hand, pistol in the other, and her armour barely clinging to her, but with a face full of determination and perhaps a hint of raging vengeance.
Without him.
“Where’s EDI?”
Joker’s cracked voice came out forcefully as he looked at Kaidan and Liara. The pair shared a glance, but said nothing.
“Kaidan, where’s EDI?”
“Listen, buddy,” Kaidan started, but Joker shook his head sharply.
“I want to see her right now,” he said forcefully, shakily getting to his feet and flicking the autopilot on, “I want to fucking see her, damn it, I need to see her!”
The team shared a pained look as Liara stepped forward.
“Are you sure? You should get checked out before-” Liara asked gently, but the pilot shook his head again, steadying himself with Kaidan’s forearm.
“Liara, do not stop me. I swear to god, where–”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Kaidan said quietly, placing a hand on Joker’s shoulder. “We’ll take you to her, bud, okay?
Joker and Kaidan started down the bridge towards the elevator, Garrus, Tali, Liara, and Ashley close behind. Smiles of relief on the crew’s face falling away as they passed by, the Commander’s teammates a stark reminder of her absence on the Normandy. As the elevator door slid shut, Garrus caught a glimpse of Samantha Traynor, hunched over her station and typing furiously.
It reopened a minute later, and their small group headed for and through the medbay. Dr. Chakwas was leaning over a critical patient, and barely noticed the group pass by her as they made their way to the AI room.
The doors opened silently and Joker’s mournful howl echoed off the walls. He sprinted towards the chrome body that lay crumpled in the middle of the floor. All the lights were dark.
“EDI! EDI please, please wake up,” Joker sank to his knees and took her in his arms. She slumped against his chest, lifeless.
He pressed his face on the top of her head, cursing and crying in equal measures, his grief overwhelming. Liara’s devastated expression looked exactly how Garrus, Tali, and Kaidan felt, but Ashley had disappeared from the room.
“Wake up, EDI, please,” he pleaded, rocking them back and forth. “I love you so much EDI, please, wake up…”
“Jeff.”
A hitched breath came from Joker’s chest, the use of his name barely a whisper coming from Garrus. Trembling, he looked up to see the three of them crouched around them, his face red and soaking.
“What the fuck, Garrus,” Joker choked angrily, thumbing EDI’s cheek, “we won, but at what cost? This isn’t winning, this is… EDI, the Commander, Anderson…” he trailed off as thick tears ran down his cheeks, cutting off his words.
“I don’t know,” Garrus replied, the Commander’s face swimming before his eyes again, “I don’t know.”
“We should get her somewhere comfortable,” Tali said, shifting her weight onto the balls of her feet, “Dr Chakwas will take good care of her.”
With a gesture, Garrus helped Joker to his feet, EDI in the pilot’s arms. Ashley, nose red, had Dr Chakwas make up a bed for them. Swiping her hand under her nose, Ashley tried to give Jeff a supportive smile, only managing a crooked grimace. As Joker lay EDI down gently, the good doctor appeared beside the group and unhitched a thick privacy curtain.
“Let’s give him some time.”
The three stepped into the mess hall, eerily quiet compared to the sounds above. Tali sat down hard at one of the tables, putting her head in her hands as Garrus sat down beside her. Ashley glanced at the pair, then the crew cabins.
“I’m going to lie down, or… something. See you guys later,” she said, awkwardly waving at her teammates before hurrying off to her room.
Neither of them moved for a long while, listening to the Normandy’s engines hum as they drifted through space, and Garrus couldn’t help but think that the ship was in mourning too.
Questions began to bubble, unwanted and irrational, but he expressed only one aloud.
“What do we do now?”
“I don’t know, Garrus,” Tali replied, staring at the tabletop through her hands. “Perhaps we should contact Admiral Hackett, he’d want to know we’re oka–that we survived.”
She hugged the turian tightly, getting up from the bench. “I think I’ll go do that right now – I’ll let you know what he says, okay? Why don’t you try and get some rest too?”
He didn’t reply as he watched Tali leave, disappearing around the corner. Alone in more ways than he wanted to be, and with dread welling up in his chest, Garrus forced himself to get up and head to the elevator again, skipping the crew’s cabins. Instead, he pushed the UP button for the elevator, taking deep measured breaths as he got inside and ascended.
CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS was painted in Alliance blue beside the double doors that led to Vala Shepard’s room. A sharp pain in Garrus’ throat held him back as he stared at the doors, his blood thundering through his body. He hesitated once, twice, then took a deep breath, opened the doors, and stepped inside.
The comforting scent of Vala hit him like a Mako, bringing tears to his eyes immediately. An unearthly silence filled the room, only the glow from the aquarium’s lights and filtration system audible. It was all as it had been before they left for Earth: Vala’s sweater draped over the back of her desk chair, the N7 embroidered on the chest, a glass of water and two empty coffee mugs beside a propped up, blinking datapad. In the sitting area was the chess game they had been in the middle of, still waiting for a move that would never come.
Garrus dropped into her chair, staring at the red blinking light on the pad until curiosity overcame him. Pulling it forward, Garrus unlocked it, opening it to find Vala’s inbox with several unread messages. With a glance at the fish, he tapped the first unread message, received long before their return to Earth.
> TO: CMDR SHEPARD, SYSTEMS ALLIANCE
> FROM: TREASURES OF PALAVEN, CUSTOMER SERVICE
> RE: SPECIAL REQUEST, HOT RUSH
——————————————————
Hello Commander!
I am delighted to inform you that your custom request has been approved by our team! We must advise that it will take an extra week for the details you have asked for, but I have confidence that you will be more than happy with our work. If you would like to see a mock-up beforehand, please let me know within the next 48 hours of this message being sent, otherwise we will ship you the finished product upon completion to the location you have left with us.
Thank you again for your business, we look forward to speaking with you soon!
Paedia Belliion
General Manager
“What’s this?” Garrus murmured, re-reading the email. “Custom request for what?”
Curious, he went to her Sent messages and was immediately disappointed – it was empty. His mandibles fluttered in confusion, wondering what would have prompted Shepard to clear her own sent messages.
A small chime startled the turian as the datapad signalled two incoming messages, both from an Alliance address. His anxiety flaring immediately, he tapped the first one open.
> TO: SYSTEMS ALLIANCE, ALL; SYSTEMS ALLIANCE, UNITED FLEET, ALL
> FROM: ADMIRAL STEVEN HACKETT, FIFTH FLEET
> (no subject)
——————————————————Three years ago, an Alliance soldier approached the Council with a warning of an enemy within the Spectre ranks that was being directed by something beyond all comprehension, and that something was on its way to the Milky Way to hunt us all down. Too proud to acknowledge it, and too scared to act, we inducted that soldier into the ranks of Spectres, the first human to do so, and told her to find and fix it. We paid the price for such disregard with a direct attack on the Citadel, but that Alliance soldier and her crew saved us.
Two years ago, that same Alliance soldier and her crew were ambushed by an unknown enemy. Many good people were lost that day, including the soldier. What we did not know was that the Alliance soldier’s body was delivered into the arms of our enemies, who spent two years bringing her back from the dead.
That soldier turned on the enemy, the ones who had brought her back from the dead, and fought to return to us, to save us – again. So great was her drive for us to listen, to understand. To fight back.
And you know what she did when they succeeded?
A few weeks ago, when all hope seemed lost, that Alliance soldier came forward with blueprints that would help end the cycle of terror that the Reapers built. We dubbed it the Crucible, and tasked that soldier with bringing in the best and brightest minds for this unimaginable task. She returned with the best, the brightest, and those that were once dubbed enemies because ally. Because of her tenacity, her skill, her charisma, we succeeded.
Today, the Crucible fulfilled its purpose. And today, that Alliance soldier paid the ultimate price in the name of the Milky Way, in the name of all of us: aliens, automatons, and humans alike.
That soldier’s name was Commander Vala Shepard, of the SSV Normandy.
Because of the Commander’s selflessness, we are all united, alive, and free. Because of the Commander, we worked together in a way we never have before in history, to take down an enemy wholly believed to be unbeatable. Because of the Commander, we won.
Today, I want every single one of us to remember all the people we have lost to this war. I want all of us to remember the sacrifices chosen by the few that gave us this moment of peace, right now. Today, I want us all to remember Commander Vala Shepard of the SSV Normandy, whose heart and courage was larger than our galaxy.
While the war may be over, rescue, recon, and recovery is not. The United Fleet, as it stands now, will not be dissolved. As I write this, messages are coming in from Palaven, Rannoch, Sur’Kesh, Tuchanka, even Thessia.
We are not broken, and we will not falter now. We survived the darkness and we still stand. There are wounds to mend, our dead to mourn, and stock to take. Right now, more than ever in all of our histories, we must work together. This galaxy belongs to us all, as we’ve proven today. The United Fleet stands ready, and will be here to protect.
No more secrets. No more hiding. No more pride or in-fighting. Today we have won. Be proud of that.
Admiral Steven Hackett, Captain of the Fifth Fleet
Systems Alliance
Garrus leaned back in the chair, shutting his eyes tightly. Three years had felt like three lifetimes with Shepard. Three years, and the Council could have saved more lives if they had fucking listened to her. His grief switched to rage. Maybe things could have turned out differently, maybe she’d still be-
A sharp snap startled Garrus, and he looked to see a small crack had crossed the top of the datapad where he had gripped it too tightly. Immediate regret bubbled up and, cursing himself, he opened the second message.
> TO: SSV NORMANDY CREW, ALL
> FROM: ADMIRAL STEVEN HACKETT, FIFTH FLEET
> I’m sorry.
——————————————————Shepard had spoken highly, and at length, about each and every single one of you that serve on the Normandy. She was adamant from the first day of taking over the Normandy from Anderson that those who served on her ship were of the highest caliber, and would not hear anything against any of you. She was proud to serve alongside you all, and considered you her family.
The current, official orders are that the crew of the Normandy will not be removed from their stations, as per myself. I cannot begin to fathom the loss you all feel, but it is my personal promise to each of you that you will not be reassigned from the Normandy unless you request it. I intend to honour Shepard’s trust and sentiments – this is your home as much as it was hers.
What is left of the Alliance Command are in talks about inducting all non-human crew into the Systems Alliance as honorary members, in recognition of the part you all played, as well as in honor of the Commander. This is not common knowledge currently, so please do not share this outside the crew, but I thought you should all be aware that we’re all grateful to you. I also hope that this is an acceptable course of action. I know I would personally be proud to serve alongside any and all of you.
You have lost a loyal friend, a fierce advocate, and a beloved leader. Shepard was the best of us all, and I don’t think I can express my condolences enough to make it matter. But I want you all to know that I am grieving with you. I miss her already. The galaxy is a lesser place without Vala.
One last piece of business — as Admiral of the Fifth and United Fleets, and on behalf of what is left of the Systems Alliance, I am officially promoting Garrus Vakarian to Acting Captain. I don’t imagine there will be any objections, but if there are, please let me know.
Be strong Normandy. We’re here for you, and we’ll speak again soon.
Steven
Seeing his name singled out in the Admiral’s message before Garrus had read everything nearly gave him a panic attack, his previous anger draining away and leaving behind a cavity of anxiety and relief.
Acting Captain.
Garrus pressed a hand over his eyes, letting it settle in that Shepard’s room was his now. They – he – could stay as long as they wanted, as long as they needed. All of them.
Nausea crept up his throat, so he rose to stand by the aquarium, pressing his head to the glass. Attempting to fight off the feelings, Garrus tried to comfort himself with the fact that his mental health will be infinitely better in her room than in the main battery, alone.
A sunfish swam before his face and booted the glass with its mouth.
“Yeah,” Garrus muttered, “me too buddy.”
The room intercom buzzed twice on the desk, jolting Garrus from his thoughts. Leaning over, he pressed the button beside the speaker down gingerly.
“Um… hello?”
“Garrus, it’s Tali. Do you have a moment?”
Seren J.H. Wolfe 
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